Smothers' Soliloquy: January 2013

“Ok, so he was 6lbs and 27 oz? Are you sure you don’t mean 2.7 oz?”

“No, see this paper says 27oz. And I remember that’s what they told me in the hospital. He was exactly 27 oz.”

“Really? Because I thought there were only 16 oz in a pound?”

Maybe something got lost in the translation to Spanish.

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2013 got off to a great start.

A preposterous start.

Just like the billboard wished me.

See, there’s this billboard on my way to work that sits there wishing everyone a preposterous new year from some bank.

Or maybe the billboard wished me a prosperous new year, not preposterous. It's easy to see how I would be confused. Clearly I was driving, not looking at billboards.

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Lately I’ve mostly been seeing only sick kids. Most of them are really sick.

A lot of high fevers, and a lot of the flu.

Usually high fever is a hallmark sign of the flu. But this year, in Texas at least, we’ve seen a higher amount of the flu than normal. And a higher amount of non-flu viruses that give fever.

If you’ve read my blog before, you know I’m super passionate about vaccines. I’ve read a lot of the medical literature and studies on safety and efficacy. I’ve read actual studies that are scientifically done.

And I HATE it when people think vaccines are unsafe and/or unnecessary.

But please, don’t take my word for it. This is just a blog.

Just my opinion.

Please, don’t take ANY blog and think it’s actual fact. There are A LOT of blogs out there right now saying how harmful vaccines are. If you want the truth, please don’t find it on a blog. Please go to a real website and find out the truth.

Two websites I really like are the CDC website and the American Academy of Pediatrics website.

They both break down the fears and facts about vaccines.

CDC (Center for Disease Control)

http://www.cdc.gov/flu/protect/vaccine/general.htm

AAP (American Academy of Pediatrics)

http://www2.aap.org/immunization/illnesses/flu/influenza.html

I HIGHLY recommend the flu vaccine to children and people who have a lot of contact with young children. I have seen about 100 cases of the flu, and 95% of them have not had a flu shot.

The flu shot only covers 3 strains of flu virus. Two Influenza A strains and One Influenza B strain.

Meaning it is still possible to get a strain of the flu that is not covered by the vaccine. The vaccine changes yearly, depending on which strains are most likely to be covered that year.

Not everyone needs a flu shot, but I encourage you to talk to your doctor about if it’s the right decision to keep you healthy. The flu rate is high this year.

Whatever you decide, make sure you're washing your hands and staying away from anyone with a high fever and/or cough and cold symptoms.

Take a look at this map from the CDC:

http://gis.cdc.gov/grasp/fluview/main.html

And now I’ll jump off my soap box.

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Over Christmas we did a Secret Santa at work. You had to bring a little gift for your secret pal 3 days before our work Christmas party, and then you told them who you were.

My person at work wanted a Holiday Caramel Cappuccino from McDonalds every day.

So I went to McDonalds and ordered a Holiday Caramel Cappuccino.

But the lady behind the counter told me they didn’t have Cappuccinos.

Ever.

Especially not a holiday one.

So I got a Caramel Mocha.

Coming from McDonalds it’s all the same, right?

And I got a breakfast burrito. They asked me if I wanted hot or mild sauce. I picked mild. You never know what someone else’s definition of hot is.

So I opened the bag to try some of this mild sauce on my burrito.

And I saw that to McDonalds, mild sauce = strawberry jam.

Thanks.

That’s what I get for eating at McDonalds.

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Its funny, because now, at work I usually choose to speak Spanish over English if the person tells me they don’t care which one.

Maybe because I think they’ll trust me more, maybe because I think the kid will know more Spanish and feel more comfortable.

Maybe because I tell better jokes in Spanish.

Or at least, I make people laugh at me more in Spanish.

Either way, at work, I feel like I can totally speak another language. But the second I walk out those doors, I start second guessing my pronunciation. And I worry someone is going to talk about something other than medicine and parts of the body and then they’ll discover it’s all a guise.

Sometimes at work we go grab lunch at the Fiesta one block from where our building is. I love the food, but I feel like I don’t really belong there.

I walk into that place, and it seams like the entire store stops to look at the non-Hispanic girl that just walked in.

'Maybe she's lost,' I can practically hear them thinking.

All the signs are in Spanish and they’re brightly colored and contrast with my clothing choices.

We go to Fiesta to order food and it’s a bunch of Hispanic food, which is delicious, but I never know to order in English or Spanish. Because, the signs are in Spanish, but what if I talk in Spanish and then they think I really speak Spanish so they ask me a question that I don’t understand? So maybe I should speak English. But is it wrong to assume they speak English? And on the other hand, is it even wronger to assume they don’t speak English?

Oh man.

I usually just end up pointing at what I want and saying thank you.

Because I’m very fluent at speaking charades.

And everyone knows how to play charades so I don’t have to assume anything.

And they don’t have to laugh at the little white girl who can’t actually speak Spanish.

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I diagnosed this sweet little 8 year old boy with the flu last Thursday and told him he couldn’t go to school on Friday and that I would write him a prescription for some medications.

At the end of the visit he came up and gave me a huge hug.

And then I told him he was contagious and that he shouldn’t hug ANYONE.

And his mom told him to stop, so he did. And she looked so sorry and embarrassed that I felt compelled to tell her not to worry, I had gotten my flu shot.

Which her son took to mean he could hug me again.

Not.

So.

Sweet.

For the rest of the week I was worried about starting a fever and coming down with the flu.

It wouldn’t be too terrible to stay home sick, except I’m out of sick days for the year!

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Half of my co-workers are pregnant right now.

BOTH of my nurses are pregnant and the nurse that sometimes helps me out in the mornings is pregnant too.

I’m one of the only people at work that doesn’t have kids. Which I suppose makes me an unlikely candidate to be a pediatrician.

One of my nurses is pregnant for the first time and she’s all perky and happy and was never sick or anything. She’s young and pretty and she’s got this precious baby bump and no fat anywhere else.

I want to be just like her if I get pregnant.

But my other nurse is SO nauseous and she’s sick just about every other week.

I’m afraid I’ll be just like her if I get pregnant.

The other day we were talking about giving birth and I just really don’t want to do that. I don’t think I’ll mind being pregnant or having kids, but I just don’t want to give birth.

Just hearing their stories was stronger birth control than ANYTHING they currently have on the market right now…

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And finally, time for a non-work story.

Our precious little Rue is almost 7 months old now and finally has good control of her bowels and bladder so we don’t have to worry about her so much when we take her outside. She has never pooped in the apartment, and only had a few accidents when she was smaller.

Well, this past week it rained A LOT in Dallas.

And the dogs hate to poo in the rain.

So I was taking both pups out one morning, thankful that the rain had slowed down for a while at least.

Rue must of have been terrified it would still be raining hard because on the elevator she squatted, and before I could stop her she let out a baby turd.

S***, I thought (which was quite appropriately used, as that’s what she literally just dropped on the floor.)

I hurried to pick it up in a baggy before we got outside, thankful we were the only people on the elevator at the time.

We got out to the park next door and she wouldn’t poo. It was only raining a little bit. Poor girl. I was afraid we’d have another accident if she didn’t go again.

So I waited in the rain.

Not to worry, she found a piece of concrete to poo on that sheltered her from most of the rain.

Good thing too, cause she had a lot more left to poo.

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And now, pictures from life :)