The day I called 911. Or the day I got bit!

I’m gunna let you guys in on a little doctor secret.

Sometimes we freak out.

Just never in front of a patient or our nurses.

A little boy came in with an oxygen number of 86.  Normal is 100, less than 92 scares me.

So 86 was low enough to really freak me out.

I immediately asked the nurse to give him a lung treatment and a steroid shot, which is standard for a kid with a number that low.

It was a Friday, and I was really hoping not to have to send this kid to the hospital.  So I had my nurse continue to monitor his oxygen number after treatment.  At 5 minutes after the shot and treatment, he was siting at 91.  I told her to check again at 15 minutes after treatment and let me know what it was. 

She knocked on my door and told me it had dropped back to 88.

Deep breath.

I left the patient I was with, calmly explaining I was needed for a moment, and then I freaked out in my head.

I told my nurse to immediately grab the oxygen tank and start him at 2 liters of oxygen per minute via face mask.

She had no idea what I was talking about.

I told her to find someone and ask for help, and they I stayed with the boy until she returned with a more experienced nurse and turned on the oxygen.  His oxygen number went up to 98 with the oxygen.  I told her to stay with the boy while I called 911, and let me know if he dropped below 92 again.

I felt so silly calling 911.

Clearly, I could handle this kid, but I figured he needed around-the-clock oxygen if I wanted to keep his brain properly oxygenated, and my shift ended at 6 pm… so I had to have 911 transport him to the hospital.

They arrived and started asking mom standard questions, only mom didn’t speak any English.

And her son was only 4 years old, so he hadn’t started learning English in school yet.

I printed a summary of the patient’s visit, including a brief medical history as well as allergies and medications for the paramedics since they weren’t able to get the information they needed from mom.  I translated any other questions they had and then watched them move the little boy from mommy’s lap onto their stretcher.

He started crying and breathing fast again.

And mom was clearly distressed too.

I couldn’t understand why they wouldn’t hook his mask up to the oxygen tank on the cart, but they’re the paramedics.

I wanted to do more to help, but he was in their care now.

The rest of the day I couldn’t slow down my heart rate again or get that kid out of my head.

The good news is, I saw him a week later after a 2 day stay in the hospital.  He was doing a hundred times better, and mom was so thankful for my help.

And I’m so thankful God allowed me to know he was ok!

[Rue, our puppy, playing hide-and-go-seek in our blankets]

………………………………………………….

Some days are always going to be better than others.

But no doubt more days are looking up now.

I can say, “at least I didn’t get bit today…”

…………………………………

Hypochondria is a pretty common thing in the medical community.

I get kids all the time that are worried.

And moms that are worried about their kids.

For instance, I had a girl 16 year old girl that was practically crying because she thought she had meningitis.  It didn’t help that I was working with a student that day and my student came out of the room after being in the room for 3 seconds and says to me “I’m really worried abut this girl.”

‘What do you mean really worried?’ I asked (clearly, she hasn’t learned when and when not to freak out.  We’re never supposed to freak out…)

“Well, I was just studying meningitis and I think she just might have bacterial meningitis.”

(Bacterial meningitis is when a bacteria gets in your brain/spinal cord and it can kill you in less than 24 hours…)

‘Ok, I’ll come take a look at the girl.’

I asked a few questions about the girl’s symptoms:  Fever since 7am this morning (about 10 hours) and sore muscles.  The first thing I asked the girl to do was to put her chin down on her chest, and instead, she just started crying.

“I just knew I had bacterial meningitis and that I’m going to die.”  She wailed.

Chill.

Clearly, if you’ve had a fever this long and you’re still speaking to me coherently enough to understand that’s what I’m testing you for, you’re probably going to be ok.

Pobrecita.

…..

I can’t be too hard on her though.

I had another 16 year old girl (Are you sensing a trend here?) that came in for breast lumps.

She was convinced she had breast cancer.

Maybe, as a culture, we’re watching too many soap operas.

She said the lumps had been there about a week and they were tender and that even though there was no history of breast cancer in her family, she knew she needed to have breast surgery immediately if we were going to save her life.

Deep breath.

I explained to her the most likely diagnosis (fibrocystic breast changes) and the best course of action: more than likely, these lumps in your bilateral outer breasts are just fibrocystic breast changes, a natural occurrence in the breasts that happen because of hormones due to your menstrual cycle. They should disappear and than more than likely reappear around the same time each month.  We’re going to wait 2 weeks until you get your period.  Your lumps should be gone by then.  If they’re not or the lumps are growing or you experience any changes in your skin, come back and see me and we’ll do an ultrasound of your breast.  If they go away and come back, I was right.

Relax.

The good news is I was right.  We didn’t end up having to cut her breasts off.

…..

But I can’t be too hard on people, I do it too.

I see 3 kids in a room with head lice and suddenly my head itches for the rest of the day.

Or I see 8 nausea/vomiting/ diarrhea kids in a row and suddenly my stomach feels a bit queasy….

And don’t even get me started on scabies…

……………………………………

But before you think I’m being too hard on girls, I’ll tell you a story about a ridiculous teenage guy.

See, he had gotten this red, itchy, spotted rash all over his body for the past 6 weeks.  Which happens to be the time when he began using AXE body wash because he wanted to impress the ladies.

Because teenage boys have learned that teenage girls like teenage boys who smell good.

Mom was talking to his coach and the coach mentioned about a teenage boy who got a “toxic rash” from AXE body wash and ended up in in the hospital for 1 week, when mom realized that her son’s rash might also from his AXE body wash, and she figured he should be hospitalized right away.

So she brought him into my office.

To see if he, in fact, had the toxic rash and needed to be hospitalized.

She had tried to get him to stop using the body wash, but hormones prevailed and so he continued using it against his mom’s wishes.

After further questioning him, it turns out that when he was little he broke out in a similar rash from johnson’s baby shampoo and he has since been using special mild soap that keeps his skin well hydrated and prevents whole-body breakouts.

So isn’t it perfectly logical that he would get the same kind of rash from a super-fragranced men’s body wash? 

Yep.

The good news: it wasn’t the “toxic rash” mom heard about.

The son was still super resistant to give up his newfound “good smellingness.”  Seems he had gotten excited about the attention from teenage girls and didn’t want to give it up.  Although once I convinced him that the rash would scare away just as many girls as the smelly soap would attract, he changed his ways.

Guess he realized I was right.

So, yep, some days I do get to save the world.

Or just maybe teenage boys from toxic rashes.

………………………………………….

I got a serious question from a mom the other day:

“I have a 4 month old baby.  Can I cut his hair?”

I had to re-ask her the question, because I thought maybe I was translating something wrong.

“is it safe?  Can I cut my 4 month old’s hair?!”

‘Yep.  It’s safe.’ I told her

Just be careful not to cut his ear off too….

………………………………….

Driving to work one morning I saw a sign that said, “be prepared to stop ahead.”

And just as I was trying to figure out why there would be that kind of sign, a police officer walked out onto the road and stopped us.  I was the first car in line, so I got a good view of all the action.

And you have to know, I was wearing my leather jacket and boots that day, so I felt like I was an undercover agent or plainclothes cop like detective Beckett (don’t even get me started on how cool I think Castle is…)

So here I am sitting behind this cop who has turned his direction away from the cars he just stopped and onto the shady-looking bar on the side of the road where I see someone running.

Then someone chasing someone him.

Then someone stand up from behind a huge rock with what looked like a gun in his hand.

I was sure there was going to be a shoot out and I was going to die.

Because, clearly, my car was their obvious target.

And then the running guy stopped and someone else ran over to him and handed him water and looked like they were in a heated debate.

So I took this opportunity to snap a photo.

Only I was too scared to even zoom in because I felt like I was going to die.

So this lame pic is the best you get:  (see the cop and the shady bar and the guy squatting behind a big rock with that gun-looking-thing)

It was one of those moments where I was half-glad I was alone so no one else would be put in danger but half-sad that no one would believe how weird the whole thing was…

After the glass of water thin happened the cop let us continue driving.

I wanted to shout out my window and make sure it was ACTUALLY ok to go.

But I figured I was already 10 minutes delayed. 

And If I just hung back a for another 3 seconds, the car next to me would drive by the shady bar first, making them the easiest target…

……………………………………

"She won't eat anything. I can't make her. All she does is drink milk."

‘What do you mean? She's 2 years old. Does she pour it for herself??’

“No.”

‘Ok then stop giving it to her!’

Some days….

I wonder how the world keeps on turning. 

It just makes me thankful there’s a God who forgives all my ridiculousness and stupidity too…

Like when my husband asks "honey, is there a reason you didn't flush the toilet?!"

Yep.

Um.

'Yeah, um, yeah, I forgot.  Sorry!'

……………………………………….

And now for some pictures of life and not work:

[My super-cool Aunt Rosemary sent me towels for St. Patrick's day!]

[The roommates came to town for a reunion on St. Patrick's Day!]

[As always, my handsome husband!]

[Ohhh, we got to babysit this cutie-pie together.  He really was a cutie-pie until about 9:30 when he woke up screaming and we tried everything we could think of to stop his crying for 30 minutes before his parents came home and saved us.

We loved babysitting him, but we definitely decided we're not ready for kids yet!]

The day I was a professional model at work.

Fish oil.

It's great to take if you have high triglycerides.

But hard to explain over the phone to someone who's never heard of it:

"What KIND of fish?" this mom asked.

It's not a kind of fish. It's just plain fish. All fish. Not a specific one.

"But what if I buy the wrong one"

There is no wrong one. It's just fish oil. There's only one.

"But what type of fish?"

Seriously, you're asking me that again?!  What more can I say to you?  My co-workers are already laughing at the half of the conversation they can hear.  Maybe I'll take the easy way out:

You know, ma'am, why don't you just come in and I'll have our pharmacist show you.

........

Some people make me laugh.

I was talking to this 3 year old at his checkup and I asked him his name. He was shy so he said nothing.    Which is pretty typical for 3 year old boys.

His mom said "say I Henry"

So he did.

He said "I Henry."

I really wondered why mom didn't teach him to use the verb "am."

But I guess she's just trying to teach him how to sound cool.

Or thug.

................

There was ice in our parking lot one morning so instead of walking through it, I decided jumping over it would be smarter.

Think about it.

I almost fell over, but I managed to regain my balance just after dumping coffee all over myself.

...............

I wrote 1 Feb 2013 on a prescription and a mom got all mad at me.

"You wrote the wrong date on here today is not Feb 1st!"

A simple enough mistake to make, most days just blur together.

Only it wasn't a mistake.

I was right.

Which shocked me so much I wasn't actually sure what to tell that momma.

But a quick flash of my iPhone screen was enough to convince her that there was no need to re-write the prescription.

Thankfully!

.................

This little girl came in and mom told her to tell me what was wrong.

She started off slowly, "I see..."

"I see..."

And I was terrified she was going to say "dead people."

I'm really thankful she didn't.

I'm not too great when kids come in with mental health problems.

In fact, I'm terrible at it.

How can you tell a 300 lb 17 year old he's going to die if he doesn't change his eating habits?  Mom and dad already have type 2 diabetes and only keep healthy stuff in the house, but he already has a job and is using the money to buy junk food.   And he thinks you're stupid and doesn't care as his mom watches, crying, because she's tried too hard to change him and she knows she can't.

He's gotta do it on his own.

What do you say to a girl who hasn't even gone through puberty that is cutting herself and needs a note saying she's mentally stable and ok to return to school? (I can't. I had to send her to a mental hospital.)

Or a 9 year old that is on ADHD medication, already at the max dose who's mom is convinced there's no other problem, but is still failing all his classes?

Bummer.

That's the kind of stuff that makes it hard to work with kids.

Thankfully there's a lot of awesome stuff about working with kids that makes it worth it.

..................

This past week was awkward in all new kinds of ways.

Not once, but TWICE, I called a little boy a girl and had to be corrected by a mommy.

I'm sorry but if you put your little boy's hair into a cute curly ponytail or you braid it back into a half-up design, than he deserves it.

And I'm only sorry that I'm not sorry at all.

Really.

Thor can pull off the "boy with long hair thing" because he has big muscles and a hammer and is from Asgard.  He also wears his hair down, not styled all up and cute!

But since your son has none of those qualities, help me out here and don't give him girly styled long hair!  Let him wear it down.

And maybe give him Thor's hammer for good measure.

Last week, not only did I embarrass self with the girly boys, but I also had the unfortunate first-time-experience of being a professional model.

The second time it happened was totally normalish. Mom wanted a "first checkup" photo and asked me to be in it. So I threw my stethoscope back on my ears and pretended to listen to her baby's heart again. No problem.

But the first time it happened I almost died.

An 11 year old checkup is awkward enough in itself, but dad has a iPad and proceeds to hold it up several times during the exam to take pictures of us. CAN YOU BE MORE HORRIFYING?!

I don't think so.

And since I don't know how to say, "sir I would prefer if you didn't shoot pictures of me while I'm examining your son" in Spanish, I said nothing.

Meah.

It's not like he had a professional camera or I was doing anything scandalous.

....................

Thankfully, I asked for all of the following photos:

My cousin Kayla was mailed into town, so we took her to a wedding.

Happy Wedding John and Amberlee!

We took Kayla lots of fun places.

Our puppy welcomed her! Bone Jour!

We took her downtown.

And I took her to work!

Snow puppies!!

The day I learned my Spanish only works inside my work.

“Ok, so he was 6lbs and 27 oz?  Are you sure you don’t mean 2.7 oz?”

“No, see this paper says 27oz.  And I remember that’s what they told me in the hospital.  He was exactly 27 oz.”

“Really? Because I thought there were only 16 oz in a pound?”

Maybe something got lost in the translation to Spanish.

………………………………..

2013 got off to a great start.

A preposterous start.

Just like the billboard wished me.

See, there’s this billboard on my way to work that sits there wishing everyone a preposterous new year from some bank.

Or maybe the billboard wished me a prosperous new year, not preposterous. It's easy to see how I would be confused.  Clearly I was driving, not looking at billboards.

………………………………

Lately I’ve mostly been seeing only sick kids.  Most of them are really sick.

A lot of high fevers, and a lot of the flu.

Usually high fever is a hallmark sign of the flu.  But this year, in Texas at least, we’ve seen a higher amount of the flu than normal.  And a higher amount of non-flu viruses that give fever.

If you’ve read my blog before, you know I’m super passionate about vaccines.  I’ve read a lot of the medical literature and studies on safety and efficacy.  I’ve read actual studies that are scientifically done.

And I HATE it when people think vaccines are unsafe and/or unnecessary.

But please, don’t take my word for it.  This is just a blog.

Just my opinion.

Please, don’t take ANY blog and think it’s actual fact.  There are A LOT of blogs out there right now saying how harmful vaccines are.  If you want the truth, please don’t find it on a blog.  Please go to a real website and find out the truth.

Two websites I really like are the CDC website and the American Academy of Pediatrics website.

They both break down the fears and facts about vaccines.

CDC (Center for Disease Control)

http://www.cdc.gov/flu/protect/vaccine/general.htm

AAP (American Academy of Pediatrics)

http://www2.aap.org/immunization/illnesses/flu/influenza.html

I HIGHLY recommend the flu vaccine to children and people who have a lot of contact with young children.  I have seen about 100 cases of the flu, and 95% of them have not had a flu shot.

The flu shot only covers 3 strains of flu virus.  Two Influenza A strains and One Influenza B strain. 

Meaning it is still possible to get a strain of the flu that is not covered by the vaccine.  The vaccine changes yearly, depending on which strains are most likely to be covered that year.

Not everyone needs a flu shot, but I encourage you to talk to your doctor about if it’s the right decision to keep you healthy.  The flu rate is high this year.

Whatever you decide, make sure you're washing your hands and staying away from anyone with a high fever and/or cough and cold symptoms.

Take a look at this map from the CDC:

 

http://gis.cdc.gov/grasp/fluview/main.html

And now I’ll jump off my soap box.

…………………………..

Over Christmas we did a Secret Santa at work.  You had to bring a little gift for your secret pal 3 days before our work Christmas party, and then you told them who you were.

My person at work wanted a Holiday Caramel Cappuccino from McDonalds every day.

So I went to McDonalds and ordered a Holiday Caramel Cappuccino.

But the lady behind the counter told me they didn’t have Cappuccinos.

Ever.

Especially not a holiday one.

So I got a Caramel Mocha.

Coming from McDonalds it’s all the same, right?

And I got a breakfast burrito.  They asked me if I wanted hot or mild sauce.  I picked mild.  You never know what someone else’s definition of hot is.

So I opened the bag to try some of this mild sauce on my burrito.

And I saw that to McDonalds, mild sauce = strawberry jam.

Thanks.

That’s what I get for eating at McDonalds.

…………………………..

Its funny, because now, at work I usually choose to speak Spanish over English if the person tells me they don’t care which one.

Maybe because I think they’ll trust me more, maybe because I think the kid will know more Spanish and feel more comfortable. 

Maybe because I tell better jokes in Spanish.

Or at least, I make people laugh at me more in Spanish.

Either way, at work, I feel like I can totally speak another language.  But the second I walk out those doors, I start second guessing my pronunciation.  And I worry someone is going to talk about something other than medicine and parts of the body and then they’ll discover it’s all a guise.

Sometimes at work we go grab lunch at the Fiesta one block from where our building is.  I love the food, but I feel like I don’t really belong there.

I walk into that place, and it seams like the entire store stops to look at the non-Hispanic girl that just walked in. 

'Maybe she's lost,' I can practically hear them thinking. 

All the signs are in Spanish and they’re brightly colored and contrast with my clothing choices.

We go to Fiesta to order food and it’s a bunch of Hispanic food, which is delicious, but I never know to order in English or Spanish.  Because, the signs are in Spanish, but what if I talk in Spanish and then they think I really speak Spanish so they ask me a question that I don’t understand?  So maybe I should speak English.  But is it wrong to assume they speak English?  And on the other hand, is it even wronger to assume they don’t speak English?

Oh man.

I usually just end up pointing at what I want and saying thank you.

Because I’m very fluent at speaking charades.

And everyone knows how to play charades so I don’t have to assume anything.

And they don’t have to laugh at the little white girl who can’t actually speak Spanish.

………………………..

I diagnosed this sweet little 8 year old boy with the flu last Thursday and told him he couldn’t go to school on Friday and that I would write him a prescription for some medications.

At the end of the visit he came up and gave me a huge hug.

And then I told him he was contagious and that he shouldn’t hug ANYONE.

And his mom told him to stop, so he did.  And she looked so sorry and embarrassed that I felt compelled to tell her not to worry, I had gotten my flu shot.

Which her son took to mean he could hug me again.

Not.

So.

Sweet.

For the rest of the week I was worried about starting a fever and coming down with the flu.

It wouldn’t be too terrible to stay home sick, except I’m out of sick days for the year!

………………………..

Half of my co-workers are pregnant right now.

BOTH of my nurses are pregnant and the nurse that sometimes helps me out in the mornings is pregnant too.

I’m one of the only people at work that doesn’t have kids.  Which I suppose makes me an unlikely candidate to be a pediatrician.

One of my nurses is pregnant for the first time and she’s all perky and happy and was never sick or anything.  She’s young and pretty and she’s got this precious baby bump and no fat anywhere else.

I want to be just like her if I get pregnant.

But my other nurse is SO nauseous and she’s sick just about every other week.

I’m afraid I’ll be just like her if I get pregnant.

The other day we were talking about giving birth and I just really don’t want to do that.  I don’t think I’ll mind being pregnant or having kids, but I just don’t want to give birth.

Just hearing their stories was stronger birth control than ANYTHING they currently have on the market right now…

……………………….

And finally, time for a non-work story.

Our precious little Rue is almost 7 months old now and finally has good control of her bowels and bladder so we don’t have to worry about her so much when we take her outside.  She has never pooped in the apartment, and only had a few accidents when she was smaller.

Well, this past week it rained A LOT in Dallas.

And the dogs hate to poo in the rain.

So I was taking both pups out one morning, thankful that the rain had slowed down for a while at least.

Rue must of have been terrified it would still be raining hard because on the elevator she squatted, and before I could stop her she let out a baby turd.

S***, I thought (which was quite appropriately used, as that’s what she literally just dropped on the floor.)

I hurried to pick it up in a baggy before we got outside, thankful we were the only people on the elevator at the time. 

We got out to the park next door and she wouldn’t poo.  It was only raining a little bit.  Poor girl.  I was afraid we’d have another accident if she didn’t go again. 

So I waited in the rain.

Not to worry, she found a piece of concrete to poo on that sheltered her from most of the rain.

Good thing too, cause she had a lot more left to poo.

…………………………

And now, pictures from life :)

Cooking Peanut brittle.  With Almonds instead of peanuts.

Ryan taught me how.

The cooked brittle before I broke it.

Scrubby Chillin on our way to Atlanta.

Rue was chillin too.

And eating a Christmas elf toy.

I made homemade cinnamon buns with Ryan's mom!

The family Skyped on Christmas Day.

We saw lots of friends!

The omni and reunion tower helped us count down to the new year!

Yay 2013!!

Then they helped us cheer on Texas A&M at the cotton bowl!!

I saw my good friend Jenni get married!!

Yay Jenni!!

We bought a washer and dryer set like big kids!!

We also bought the dogs jackets because it got COLD outside finally!!

Happy New Year 2013.

Hope it's preposterous.