I'll sprinkle pictures of how I painted it through the post, in case you want to re-create this masterpiece in your own office.
[Cutting out Antarctica was easy. I guess I thought the rest of the world would be too]
[1/4 done. I was able to do some nice cutting with my little exacto knife]
[1/2 way there, and that's about all I can handle for the night.]
[almost done!]
It was quite the process and it took forever.
And by forever, I mean 8 hours split over 2 days. And I'm not sure I'm finished with it. I think I want to label all the countries but I'm not sure if that will make it look cluttered.
Clearly, I need a coordinating picture for another wall, preferably with some sort of witty quote that would inspire me to be a great Primary care Provider. I turned to Pinterest to find the perfect quote.
I find people sit for far too long in my office. They have a lot of time to dwell on the things we have on our walls, so I needed to find something awesome.
What I found, was a lot of TERRIBLE quotes for my office. I worried that when people say long enough and thought about some of the quotes I found, that would make them seem worse than they are. So I don't want to put the wrong ideas into their head.
Now when you read these, grab a nice beverage of your choice. Maybe put on a paper robe and sit yourself in an awkward room on a kinda uncomfortable bed and imagine you're waiting for your Doctor or your PA to come into the room with medical advice. Some of these quotes are great, but not in that context....
And yes, these are ALL on pinterest.
Here are just a few of those quotes:
[the beginning]
"I hope she'll be a fool-that's the best thing a girl can be in this world, a beautiful little fool." F. Scott Fitzgerald (from The Great Gatsby)
Because the girl that's coming into your room to care for you could be a fool. And I want to brainwash you into thinking that's a beautiful thing.
...........
"People generally see what they look for and hear what they listen for." To Kill a Mockingbird
So, I'm not actually going to listen to you or look at you. Because that would be pointless.
..........
"Of corse it is happening inside your head, but why on earth should that mean that it is not real?" Albus Dubmledore
I have enough crazies here, do you want to be another one?
..........
[I decided the easiest way to paint all the little countries was to cut them out with an exacto knife. I'm not sure why it never occurred to me to use scissors]
...........
"Our willingness to wait reveals the value we place on the object we're waiting for." Charles Stanley
Actually talking about Isaiah 64:4 I think, but also not appropriate for any place a doctor is making people wait.
..........
"Write hard and clear about what hurts" Ernest Hemingway
Just don't talk long about what hurts, ok? And be sure to get the clear part down.
..........
"Can I refill your eggnog for you? Get you something to eat? Drive you out to the middle of nowhere and leave you for dead?" Clark Griswold, Christmas Vacation
Maybe, if you're driving me crazy, I'll drive you crazy. Or kill you. Just think about it.
(Please note I'm being intentionally sarcastic here.)
..........
"The days are long and the years are short."
Yes, your years could be short when you're my patient.
..........
"Do not be afraid."
Of the awful things we can do to you or the terrible diagnosis we could give you. Or of death.
.............
"Learn to say "NO" without explaining yourself."
Because that's what I do. No explanations for you. Just no.
............
...........
"Do not regret growing older. It is a privilege denied to many."
Because you're only going to get older if you're lucky.
..........
"Hardships often prepare ordinary people for an extraordinary destiny." CS Lewis.
So get prepared for whatever hardship I'm about to offer you.
.............
"Find joy in the ordinary."
Because I'm not extraordinary. I'm just plain average.
..........
"We were together. I forget the rest." Walt Whitman
And now I know nothing. Perfect for you.
..........
"Often in life we forget the things we should remember, and remember the things we should forget."
And all that medical knowledge...that's one of the things I should remember...
..........
[a close-up of the creative process]
...........
"The best advice I ever received is, 'No one else knows what they're doing either.'" Ricky Gervais
Yep, I don't know what I'm doing. That's comforting, isn't it.
..........
"Humans have a knack for choosing precisely the things that are worst for them." JK Rawling
Like the choice you made to see me! You're already regretting that, aren't you?!
...........
...........
"The question is, what color will everything be at that moment when I come for you? What will the sky be saying?" The Book Thief
If you've read that, you know what moment we're talking about. We're talking about the moment you die. Now keep thinking about death as you wait to see the doctor/ PA.
..........
..........
"Pour yourself a drink, put on some lipstick and pull yourself together." Elizabeth Taylor
Because that's what I'm doing, right now!
...........
"You live but once; you might as well be amusing." Coco Chanel
Maybe I will be amusing. Maybe that's all I am.
..........
"Happiness can be found even in the darkest of times, if only one remembers to turn on the light." Albus Dubmledore
So don't sit in the dark.
..........
"Anything is possible if you've got enough nerve." Ginny Weasley
Like moving your limbs, if you don't have enough nerves in them, you can't move them. You gotta love puns!
..........
[3/4 of the way to world domination!]
...........
"She wasn't doing a thing that I could see, except standing there, on leaning on the balcony railing, holding the universe together." J.D. Salinger
And that's what your provider is doing. Nothing, just holding the universe together.
..........
"Life is but a walking shadow" William Shakespeare
Your life is a shadow. Be thankful you're walking.
..........
"I have nothing to offer anybody except my own confusion." Jack Kerouac
Continue to sit there, while you doubt my medical abilities.
..........
..........
"You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself any direction you choose. You're on your own. And you know what you know. And YOU are the one who'll decide where to go." Dr. Seuss
At least he's a Dr. You can do what you want! You get to pick whatever medical care you want!
..........
"Unless someone like you cares a whole awful lot, nothing is going to get better. It's not." Dr. Seuss
Because someone like me doesn't care!
But you all know I do care.
I'm sure there are more quotes, but these are my current favorites thus far. Maybe I'll add to the list as I keep working.
Hope you had a good laugh!!
And now I must go. The Metamucil lady came by the other day and made me take a sample of her Metamucil Health bar packed with fiber. And today I got hungry enough to try it...
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