11 June 2014

The day(s) I started to diet.



Look how pretty that salad is. Lots of veggies, healthy cucumber dressing. No preservatives!




Before you get worried, I am not talking about "diet" in the I'm-trying-to-loose-weight sort of way.  I'm talking "diet" in the I-want-to-change-my-eating-habits sort of way.  I'll repeat: I am NOT trying to lose weight! 

I've never really believed in diets.  I feel like they don't work, that you're damaging your body, and that the people who do manage to lose weight just gain it back really quickly.  I've always been a big believer of everything in MODERATION INSTEAD OF STARVATION.

Lately though, "everything in moderation" has looked more like "everything" without the moderation part. Unfortunately.  For example:

Oh, you're going out for dinner Sunday night, we'll go with you!  (Even though we ate out that day for lunch AND breakfast.)

Our "occassional" stop-for-bagels/donuts/kolaches in the morning before church on Sundays has become a weekly habit.

Our "let's just grab a 6 pack of beer to last us the week" has turned into grabbing a 12 pack for most weeks.

Basically, we just needed to have better self control, but it wasn't happening.  It was really hard for us to break our habits.  If it we gave up indulging in one thing (eating out), we would quickly find something else to indulge in (eating frozen pizzas and beer for dinner instead of eating out.)

More than anything, I want us to be really conscous about what we are putting in our bodies in the way of processed foods, added sugars, and preservatives.  We've lived near a Trader Joes and so most of our meets have been free range/wild caught without preservatives, we rarely buy breads, we rarely use our microwave to cook, and we eat a bunch of vegetables.  BUT we've also picked up some bad habits like falling in love with Trader Joe's seemingly-healthy pizzas with veggie toppings, Trader Joe's inexpensive wine and beer selection, and the easy-access baking goods that we can turn into our own breads, cupcakes, and cookies.  Which are all fine, but not ALL the time.

Our friends told us about this "diet" they were doing and I was instantly skeptical.  I didn't know anything about it except that it was a diet, and I don't believe in those.  They did really well on it, felt awesome, and came out of the diet in 1 month (the recommended time frame) with a bunch of "good habits." (things like eating fresh foods, watching out for added sugars in hidden places- think salad dressings, yogurts, low-fat products, and they lost some weight, which they haven't put back on in over 6 months.  I was pretty impressed.

Then, they asked us to do the diet with them for their second round.  They didn't have to do a second round, but they noticed us struggling with some of the same things they had struggled with and offered to give us some support.  We bought the Fat Metabolism Diet book (I can feel you're getting skeptical, just like I was, but keep reading) by Haylie Pomroy.  She splits the diet into 3 phases, and you go through each phase in 1 week.  The diet includes a lot of fresh fruits and vegetables and meat and nuts.  It only cuts out processed foods and dairy.  However, since spinich and almonds show up in a lot of recipes, it allows you to get your full servings of calcium (Which I was worried about initially).

Sounds pretty good, right? 

Only fresh, not-processed foods. 

I could totally get on board with that. 

No fast food.  No junk food.  No soda (even diet soda).  No artificial sweeteners.  But no caffeine.

Which means no coffee.

Which I thought would be the hardest part for me.  And don't get me wrong, it was hard.  To ease the initial no-caffeine shock, I slowly drank less and less caffeine the two weeks prior to the diet.  First a full cup, then 3/4 cup, then 1/2 a cup and so on.  It wasn't too bad.  I wasn't too tired.  Sure, I missed my coffee, but it wasn't the worst thing in the world.  Ryan had to quit his Coke Zero habit.  And he almost instantly lost about 5 lbs.  Crazy.

The diet also includes a strategic workout on 3 days that coincide with each phase.  Phase 1 is high carb/ unprocessed sugars (lots of fruits, steel cut oatmeal, and starchy veggies like squash and mushrooms and zuccini).  You HAVE to do a cardio ecercise during that phase.  I hate cardio, so this was a challenge for me.  But Ryan is the cardio king (having been an avid runner/cyclist for the past year-building up to a triathalon), so it was easy for him.  Phase 2 is high protein day, you are supposed to do weights.  I love my little baby weights and simple body-weight style exercises.  Ryan likes weights but he has been focusing on cardio lately, so this will be a good change-up.  Phase 3 is my favorite.  It has healthy fats like almonds and avocados, which are delicious and a relaxation exercise (yoga, massage, deep breathing) which is some of my favorite things!

.......................

Day 1 was rough.  We ate smoothies in the morning.  I use the word "ate" instead of "drank" because it was a ful cup of blended steal cut oats, which were very chewy.  I got up 30 minutes before I usually do and it took me all 30 minutes to eat breakfast.  It was super relaxing though!  Day 2 was essentially the same.  The foods are more bland than I'm used to (we can't use butter or olive oil in this phase) but were still delicious.  The hardest part was saying "no" to the chips and salsa at lunch.  The salsa would have been ok but I wasn't sure it didn't have sugar in it, so I said no anyway.  I have a feeling we will need to make some salsa on this diet soon!


Enough words, lets skip to pictures!




Look at all those veggies. We spent a total of 175 on food for one week. Then we spent another 60 at the end of week one so we could buy alternative things like safflour mayo, cacao powder, dates, gluten free flour, walnuts, and more veggies. But we spent ZERO on fast food/alcohol/pre-packaged meals.  And we froze 5 dinners to eat again.


I'll be honest.  Buying food was hard.  Thankfully, the book had a food planning list and recipes we could follow.  We made a few changes to it and then compiled a grocery list.  The grocery list was 2 pages long!  But if I think about all the separate ingrediants you need to make a variety of meals from scratch, that's what it takes.  More on that later.



One of the biggest learning curves was measuring out "two cups" of something.

I kinda just figured 1 squash or zucchini = 1 cup. Pretty sound logic, right?

Nope. It depends on how you chop, and if you go by oz vs "measured cups" but for us one squash was at least 2 cups.

We froze some of the squash we bought (can you do that, does it still taste good?! Clearly I'm not an expert yet) and gave some away. We also almost bought 10 cucumbers. We had to use a lot of cucumbers in recipes. But we only got 6, and we used ALL of them. 

Meats are always in ounces. WAY easier.

Lesson #1 learned: estimate veggie portions better.


We realized we had to do a lot of prep-work beforehand.  That squash we bought for chicken and basil soup?  We had to cut all of it.  I know, that's not rocket science, but you don't fully appreciate that until you make your own soup from scratch.  We're used to making meals, but never with so many "whole food" ingrediants.  We added to the soup: 2 cups of zucchini, 2 cups of yellow squash, and 2 cups of butternut squash. (And some other assorted veggies)


Look at that delicious, homemade soup! ( Chicken and barley vegetable) It made dinner (2 cups each), lunch, and 2 full frozen meals. We loved it.



This was our only "meal fail." The recipe called for half a cup of basil.  Well, fresh basil and dried basil are SO different. 

I'll just let you guess which one we used. 

We both took one bite and couldn't stomach much more. Our mouths were on fire.  I (thankfully!) was able to eat a leftover salad a drug rep brought (all iceberg lettuce though-kinda broke the rules) and Ryan ran to the corner store and had tuna.

Lesson #2 learned: if it feels like too much, trust that instinct. 

I learned the same lesson while making tomatoe sauce for pizza a few weeks back. 1/2 a cup of olive oil WAS too much....

Just eatin a snack and checkin my email :)





One trick we picked up was cooking with the kindle!  We bought the kindle book but had been using the iPad for recipes because most of our new recipes come from Pinterest.  

Well, with the iPad you have to touch the screen every so often or the screen locks (I'm sure there is a setting to prevent this, but figuring that stuff out isn't my strong suit)....which inwvitably results in food strewn all over the screen. 

I'm a messy cook.

The kindle locks way less often. 

Lesson #3: Cook from the Kindle.







Friends.  I don't cook meat.  Ryan does.  He picks it out AND cooks it. 

I know, I have a keeper :)

But I was so proud if myself! I learned how to broil something. Steak for dinner (wrapped in a foil pouch with veggies and juice, which turned into salad dressing) AND steak for lunch the next day! 

Lesson #4: We have a broiler. I now know how to use it!


So, this was breakfast. 

Celery.  Lime.  Sea salt. Turkey bacon.
(Well, it was 4 slices of each. I just ate most of the bacon before I thought I should get a picture because I know this is something I will laugh about later.)



Then, I decided to eat it together! Words can't describe how much better it tasted together!



Mmmmm, pork and steamed broccoli. This one Ryan made in the crock pot.  Remember all the meat is grass fed, free range, with no preservatives. 


Healthy snack (there are those cucumbers again) while I learn more about drug I info (as I turn down Panera bread and cookies....)


I know nothing about dates. I probably got the wrong kind because the recipe didn't specify, it just said 1 cup of pitted dates.  They tasted fine sand that's what really counts, right?

I need to learn this new kind of date.  There are way too many uses for that word.  The food kind, the romantic kind, the calendar kind of date....

(And now all I can think about is Miss Congeniality and describing the perfect kind of date...)


But nuts + dates + cocao powder = awesome snack!


One of the things I didn't realize is that we would have so much fun trying new recipes.  We were forced to do new things because we were following her meal plan.  We did have some of our meal staples (baked wild salmon with a veggie on the side is a dish we do a lot!) but we were trying new veggies and new recipes all the time!


Awesome breakfast! Egg whites, blueberries, and gluten free- cacao pancakes!


We definitely knew we would be spending more money on food and more time on cooking. I never took into account the money we would spend on soap (we've been washing big pots daily and running the dishwasher every other day)! Woah.

And then we got tired of chopping (and realized the limitations of a blender for non-liquids) so we purchased a food processor for all the chopping/slicing. We've had it 1 day and already it has saved us SO much time!




Our family of Kitchen Aid products. Yes, they all had to match. 

And yes, our kitchen is in a constant state of disarray.



 Before: Mess.


After: no mess for the next 3 hours. 

Then mess again.

Because it's time for week 2.  More stories (and photos) to come.



The days we went to see Musicals!



There was a party to announce next year's Dallas Summer Musical's schedule last month.  They announced the titles for next year's musicals and let you but tickets ahead of time.  Don't let the name "Dallas Summer Misicals" fool you: these musicals are not just in the summer.  Don't ask me where the name came from.  This post contains spoilers so if you were hoping to see any of these plays for the first time and be completely surprised, skip the section for that musical.

..............................................................

It all started when our friends, who had season tickets to the Dallas Summer musicals, gave us a free pair of tickets because they were sick.  (We made sure to thank them accordingly.)  It was for Flashdance: The Musical.  Which I keep confusing in my head with Footloose.  



[us before Flashdance: The Musical. I guess we weren't cool enough to take our photo with the playbill yet. Incidentally, we saw a Sleeperstar concert earlier that weekend and I felt super artsy!]


We went, not expecting much, and were blown away!  We loved it! Just before intermission they dumped water on the main character like the opening scene in the movie!  The set design was fantastic! Our friends were sad they missed it because of our wild rewiews, so we borrowed the movie to watch with them. 

And we were immediately sorry we did. 

Now, don't let it fool you, Flashdance: The Musical has a similar story to the movie, but is infinately WAY less creepy.  (Just an FYI before you go out and rent the movie.)  In the musical, the love interest of the main character is her age (instead of a few generations older) and he is the "good guy" at the company fighting to keep as many jobs as possible.   They were both fighting for something they believe in! If you get a chance to see it, you won't regret it!

Our friends with the season tickets mentioned that Disney's The Lion King was coming and that they could get us discounted tickets.  We got so excited!.  I HAVE WANTED TO SEE THE LION KING SINCE FOREVER!  I wanted to see the animals dance, the colorful costumes, and the beautiful backdrops.

We went out to dinner before and we VASTLY underestimated the amount of time it would take to find parking at the music hall (at fair park) while the state fair was going on.  

Had we known we got into the state fair for free with our tickets, we would have skipped dinner and eaten a corn dog at the top of the ferris wheel. (Well, I would have at least suggested it!)  We were all in nice dresses which felt funny next to the people in flip flops and tank tops at the state fair. 







[us before The Lion King: you can see our excitement!]

The play did not disappoint.  The children playing Simba and Nala were spot-on!  So cute! The scenery was beautiful.  The costumes were (as I'm sure you've heard) fantastic!  The way they make all the animals move and look real is so artistic and creative!  We bought our tickets late and so our seats were almost as far away as you could get, but they even had (human-moved-puppet) birds that flew up by us!

After having so much fun, we decided to buy season tickets of our own! There were two plays I was REALLY looking forward to: The Wizard of Oz and Mamma Mia! The rest looked like they would be good, definitely worth seeing.  So we took the plunge and got season tickets! You get to pick what night (we picked 1st Sunday showing last year) and what seats you want. Our friends had front-row balcony seats the first time, but they moved closer to the stage. We moved with them :)




[us at White Christmas, the first Musical]

White Christmas:  So, this story was new to me, and I thought it was beautiful.  There was this adorable little girl who did a fantastic job.  At the end, they blew snowflakes (I think they were just tiny bubbles that looked like snowflakes) out over the audience.  

We saw it just before Christmas and it was perfect to help us get in the Christmas spirit. I don't remember much of the story, but the costumes and songs were great!




[us at Ghost: The musical, and my friend Amberlee too. They're the ones that got us started on the musicals]

Ghost: If you've seen the movie Ghost, you've seen the musical.  Whenever a musical uses a screen to set up the sceen, I feel like it's cheating.  

The coolest thing about the musical was that the ghosts actually walked through walls.  I have no idea how they did that!  

I think the musical was really well done, everyone was very talented, but I think I'm biased because the whole storyline of Ghost is just a little sad.  However, flowing by the same logic, if Ghost is one of your favorite movies, you will LOVE the musical.  Our friends really enjoyed it!


[us before We Will Rock You]

We Will Rock You (Based on the music of Queen):  Our friends thought this was hilarious.  The beginning reminded me of the movie The Fifth Element (if you haven't seen it, I would highly recommend it).  It was all futureistic, and while they did a great job, I felt like it was a bit cheezy.  I immediately fell in love with the two main characters though, they really kept the musical going.  There were some songs that didn't really fit well, but overall it was a good musical.  I didn't enjoy it nearly as much as some people, but probably because Queen isn't my favorite band. I mean, they have great music, but I didn't know most of the songs.  

The ending redeemed the play though!  They all came out to sing after the curtain call and it felt like an encore, super fun! 



[me before The Little Mermaid, which may have come before We Will Rock You, but it's ok if it's a little out of order...]

The Little Mermaid:  I'll be honest.  I went in with super low expectations: how are some people going to dance across the stage and make this feel like under the sea?  I thought it would be super-lame.  

But I shouldn't have doubted Disney.  

The mermaids "swam" through the air!  The costumes of different fish were The-Lion-King Quality!  Huge jellyfish!  Ursela's eels had long arms and moved around on heely-style shoes.  Flounder moved around on one of those self-move flipboard things (like a skateboard- I'm doing a poor job describing it, but you get the picture).  

There were a TON of little girls there to see it in ariel-style dresses.  I was totally going to dress up in my mermaid dress, but at the last minute I decided against it.  I would have fit right in with all the 4-8 year old girls though.  Next time.  





[us before The Wizard of Oz. Gotta have the red shoes!!]

The Wizard of OZ:  Again, a FANTASTIC show! I had never seen the movie (gasp!) so the entire story was a bit new.  I mean, I had seen so many clips of the movie, and heard so many sound bits that none of it was a surprise.  

My favorite part was probably Todo!  They had a real, live puppy playing Todo!  And, I think that is his full-time job because he has a real name and a professional picture and everything. 

The costumes were fantastic!  One of my favorite parts was when Dorothy's dress changed mid-scene from blue and white checks into green and white ones.  I had a checked dress that I almost wore, but changed my mind at the last minute because we were running late and it was colder out.  I still wore my red shoes to support dorothy though!


[us before Evita]

Evita:  I didn't want to ruin the ending for you, but the play kinda does that in the first scene.  Evita dies.  And then they spend the rest of the time telling you all about her life.  Our friends missed part of the beginning, and they were a bit confused by the play. I didn't miss any of the play and I was also a bit confused. They sang EVERY word, so I must have missed something.

It took me half the play (well, until I asked at intermission) that Eva Peron and Evita were the same person.  We met Eva, but I kept wondering when they were going to introduce us to the Evita person.  Which, after just working in a job where I spoke Spanish more than half my day, you would think I would know that "-ita" was just a demonstrative suffix. 

Bummer.   

My friend's husband is Argentinean, and I used to dance some Argentinean tango, so I thought I liked all things Argentinean.  But this story just did not qualify for my favorite's list. 

Again, the costumes and dancing and set design were fantastic! I grew up listening to the music (I think we had Andrew Lloyd Webber's greatest hits or something) so I can sing you some of the songs, I like them that much.  I loved the way they did some of the songs!  Overall, I probably wouldn't see it again though.




[us before Mamma Mia! Notice the background...]

Mamma Mia!  Incidentally, this was the only true "summer" musical.  All the others occurred before May or after August.  I was super excited for this play and it was all I hoped it would be!  The music was fantastic, but that was a given.  Costumes were beautiful.  I thought they could have done a litle more with the set though.  They had a double sided background of the white walled geometric "classic Greek" skyline and they turned it back and forth for each of the scene changes.  While that was super creative, I sometimes had a hard time figuring out if we were in the taverna or if we were in a bedroom or if we were outside somewhere based on the scenery.  My favorite part: they all sang at the end after the curtain call and it was just like being at an ABBA concert after the musical!

The cwowd at this musical was heavy in the "middle-aged female" range. Everyone had on flowey, tropical outfits. (Ryan and I fit right in, which I planned for!) I felt like I was there, in Greece, by the ocean. It was wonderful and relaxing. I enjoyed the play even more than I thought, and I would see it again in a heartbeat!




Nice Work...If you can get it!  We haven't seen this yet, but I'm looking forward to it.  I don't think it is based on anything (A book or movie) so it should be fun and original.  I've seen that it has won some awards.  It is supposed to be really funny. I think I'll add the picture in later. 


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Are we ready for next year's line-up?! Here's what's coming for the 2014-2015 Dallas Summer Musicals 75th Season!! 

A Christmas Story: I'm not a huge fan of the movie, mostly because I think the little boy sounds like he's always wining. I have high hopes for the play though because they showed some clips and it looks great!

Kinky Boots: I'm not sure what it's about. The older gentleman that was introducing it said it has good reviews, which I guess says something about it's ability to reach a broad audience. I think it will be enjoyable, but I'm a bit nervous that it will be odd...because the older gentleman announcing it also had on taller-than-knee-high red boots. Probably for the first and only time in his life. He hobbled around in them and I feared for his safety!

The King and I: this should be great! A classic! I'm imagining beautiful costumes! What fun! I'm excited to see it, especially because I don't really know the story.

The illusionists: While I love magic and I'm really looking forward to this, I'm not exactly sure if this is a musical. It apparently was sold-out in Australia because it was awesome, so I'm looking forward to it!  We just watched the movie Now You See Me (which I also highly recommend!) and all I can think of is these people robbing a bank and giving bus the money, which however unlikely, would be fantastic and might help me forgive the fact that this isn't a traditional misical. And if they sing during the magic it might make it worse...

Cinederella: Oooh, another Disney musical, I'm excited! I may have to wear my prom dress so I can fit in with all the little girls in their Cinderella dresses. I'm really looking forward to this one!!

Dirty Dancing: This is one of my favorite movies! I own the 20th anniversary edition and the soundtrack! (Which Ryan bought for me super early-on when we were dating!) I know we're going to love this musical! And by "we" I mean the girls. And maybe the guys too.

Pippin: I've never heard of this, but it looks like fun! There are apparently amazing acrobatic stunts and a very circus-like feel (I'm picturing something like Cirque de soleil, which I've wanted to see for a long time, but haven't gotten around to!) 


If you want to see any of these musicals, let us know! We would love to have you join us!!

You won't regret it!!


21 August 2013

The day the mommies slept.


We’re all tired sometimes.

But you have to be REALLY tired to fall asleep in a chair at the doctor’s office with your head on the table, drooling, while your 4 children smack each other.

She didn’t stir when I came in, or when I spoke.

I had to physically shake her awake.

Who knows what havic could have been wreaked if I haden’t walked in?!

Probably no more than when moms “watch” their kids but actually play on their cell phones…

………………………………

Who puts a bib on their 3 month old that says “single” on the front?

Are you saying baby is single?

Or are you, a new mommy with a 3-month-old baby, single?

Or are you saying she’s not a twin baby, she’s a single child?

I guess it’s just like the person who put a onsie on their kid that says: “If you think I’m cute, you should check out my mom.”

…………………………………….
Johnson grass.

Soft.  Cushy on your feet.

Not so nice in your eye…

This little dude was so tough.  He actually went to sleep with grass in his eye because his dad didn’t believe his mom that there was grass in there.  His dad wouldn’t let his mom take him to the ER.

I’m a little surprised she didn’t just go to the ER anyway.  By the time she got to our office the next morning, she was pacing the room, about to have a heart attack.

I wasn’t sure what our office protocol was.

This piece of grass was about a centimeter long and half a centimeter wide.  I felt like I could just pull it out with my fingers.

Can I use forceps near a kid’s eye?!

Should I use forceps near a kid’s eye?!

Turns out, the kid was TERRIFIED of me putting a cotton swab near his eye (go figure) but wasn’t terrified of the forceps.

We pulled out the grass.

And mom about fainted.

Sometimes I offer to let people keep things I pull out of weird places.  Mostly it’s beads and stuff I pull out of ears.

This mom didn’t even let me ask.

She said “I’m going to keep that to prove to your dad I was right.”

Yep, because the same daddy that didn’t think anything was in his kid’s eye is going to believe you got this piece of grass out of his kid’s eye.
………………………………….

Sometimes I think 14-year-old boys are the bane of my existence.

Seriously though.

We had to talk about his rash.

And his weight problem

And his anxiety-eating-problem that Dad wanted ADD medication to fix.

The whole time I’m speaking in Spanish AND English because son doesn’t speak Spanish and Dad doesn’t speak English.

And then I had to listen to dad argue with the son about telling me his “embarrassing little problem.”

And then he said:

“So, you know how little kids pee in their bed?”

Yeah?

“So, I did that.  And then I got a little bigger and kept doing that.  And then I got really big.  And now I still do that.”

AND THIS IS THE FIRST TIME SOMEONE FORCED HIM TO TALK ABOUT IT.


………………………………………..

Why can’t you just send him to the lab to get a blood test so you can figure out what his rash is instead of guessing?

“Honestly, ma’am, that’s not possible.  There is no blood test for rashes.  There’s a test for diabetes.  But not a rash.”

That's one of the reasons they call it "practicing" medicine....

…………………………………………..

So, her vision is pretty bad, does she always wear her glasses?

Only at school and when she’s reading?

What about when she watches TV?

No?

Well, TVs aren’t very big and if she’s staring at a small TV, she might be squinting and that could be part of the problem.

“Oh, no, honey, we have an 80 inch TV.  Than’s not the problem.”

WAIT.

YOU HAVE MEDACAID.

I’M PAYING FOR YOUR KID’S HEALTHCARE AND MY TV IS HALF THE SIZE YOURS IS?

How does that work?!

………………………………………………..

If you have to ask me “what are you saying?” more than twice because your kids are too loud, that’s your problem, not mine.

Maybe you should learn how to discipline your kids.

Or maybe you’ll just never know what I’m saying.

It’s not like you just sat in the waiting room for 45 minutes to hear what I have to say…

……………………………………………

I like to give kids high fives.

For some reason, kids think it’s the coolest thing, getting to high-five the provider.

Like I’m some celebrity or something.  (Clearly, my job is not good for my ego)

But this one kid was WAY too cool for high fives.

He put out his fist and said “um, no, we don’t high-five, we fist bump” and waited until I made a fist.

Then he bumped his fist with mine.

Yep. 

That kid was way cooler than I am.

............................................................


Another kid that's way cooler than I am.


You should've seen it.  We're out shopping and all 3 adults were sitting on the bench playing with their cellphones.  

They say kids are bad at that.  My family is the same way!



Ryan is an artist! I'm ok too.


Us and our friends that painted a master peace! 


26 June 2013

The day bugs started biting people again.


It's bug bite season.  Again.  It's the only reason I learned how to say ant, mosquito, and spider. (in Spanish)

The good news is, bug bites are rarely life or death situations.

Unless they're target shaped or they're growing rapidly.

I get to see the funniest bug bites though:

“Yep, it but him on his tragus!” (which sounds dirty, but really it’s just a part of the ear)

…………..

“So, you think your kid just has a bug bite or dry skin because that’s what your friend told you, but you can’t seam to figure out why it’s spreading?  And even though your friend isn’t a doctor, she told you to put breast milk on it, but that didn’t help at all?”

“I know beastmilk is kinda magical, and it can cure dry skin, but it’s not dry skin, its Scabies….”     

“…WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU DON’T BELIEVE ME?!...”               

“…You would rather believe your non-doctor friend even though you’ve already tried her advice and it didn’t work and now your kid’s rash spread to your 5 month old and you?...” 
           
“…DRY SKIN IS NOT CONTAGIOUS AND CAN BE CURED BY BREASTMILK, CLEARLY THAT’S NOT THE PROBLEM.”

……………

“What do you mean BOTH your kids have bug bites on their private areas?   Explain to me exactly how that happened…”

…………..

“You're itchy all over? But you don't have a rash. And you don't itch all the time? And you have a feeling like something inside of you is squirming?  But you have some little red bumps that appear and disappear after about 5 days?”

…………….

“You mean THAT bump on her wrist? The one I have on my wrist and you have on your wrist too?  No, that’s not a bug bite.  Or a broken bone. That's called the styloid process of her radius bone. Yep, it's normal.”

………………

And one mom even asked me:  “Is there some kind of liquid or cream I can put on my kid to stop bugs from biting him?”  “Yes, Ma’am, there is.  Let me tell you about bug spray... “

…………………

Another mom and dad recognized their kid had bug bites, but NEEDED to know exactly what kind of bug bites their kid had.  Because mom and dad had ant bites and mosquito bites, but their kid’s bites looked different.  And it doesn’t matter that it’s the same treatment for all kinds of bug bites.  We went around in a circle for about 5 minutes: me saying they’re most likely mosquito bites because they show up on parts of his body not covered by clothes and parents saying they didn’t think it was a mosquito bite…

…………..

And then I had a kid who “only had 7 bug bites on his hands and on his feet before he went to bed last night, but he woke up this morning with 34 bites on his hands and feet.”  And that’s the only place he had these so-called-bug-bites.  Which turned out weren’t actually bug bites, but they were the manifestation of coxscackie virus, the cause of Hand, Foot, and Mouth Disease.

…………….

Incidentally, it’s also Hand, Foot, and Mouth disease season.  Typically I see kids with a high fever, super sore throat, and bumps on their hands and feet.  One mom, upon me diagnosing her kid with Hand, Foot, and Mouth disease asked me if it was contagious because she had been sharing drinks with her child after she knew her child had a fever.  It is, but not super-contagious to adults, which she was relieved by…  BUT LET’S BE HONEST, SHARING DRINKS WITH A KID THAT HAS A FEVER ISN’T THE SMARTEST IDEA…

……………………………………………

When I say open your mouth and stick your tongue out at me, I just want you to open your mouth.  I don't actually want you to do that AND breathe hot air into my face.

…………………………………........

Just when I think I can't see anything new or funny...

“How do you know your 4 month old has itchy gums?  You want me to give you a medication for that?”

How am I supposed to keep a straight face?

…………………………………..

So you know your kid just peed all over himself.  And you didn't bring a diaper and that's why he's screaming his head off. And you don't want to pick him up because he'll get you all covered in pee too.

But you think it's ok to place him on my countertop?!

………………………………

Man, these cookies are delicious! Your husband made these?!

You trust him with an oven?

Did you have teach him how to make cookies?  Or supervise him when he cooks?

No?!

Man, your husband must be awesome!

(He is)


………………………………………

“Hi, My name is Shannon and I’m a PA that works with Dr. Velez”

And most moms say “Hi, I’m _____________ . Nice to meet you.”

But this mom said, “You know me, remember?”

And I wanted to tell her that I see 80 billion kids and that, sorry I don’t remember her, but only the only thing I knew how to say was “No, sorry.” And proceed with asking what was wrong.

But she pushed, “Remember, you fixed my kid!”

I do that a lot, so it wasn’t really jogging my memory, but then mom said, “Look! Look at his arm!”

Which I did, and there was a terrible scar on it with 3 visible stitch marks.  I was thinking I do a much better job suturing, leaving a small scar with almost no stich marks, when it hit me!

OH!

“I do remember you! I told mom.”  I didn’t actually do this kid’s stitches. 

I CUT MOM’S HANDMADE STITCHES OUT OF HIS ARM AND GAVE HIM ANTIBIOTICS BECAUSE THE WOUND WAS INFECTED AND GAPING WIDE WITH PUS COMING OUT!

Mom was so happy that I remembered her as the lady who stitched up her son’s own arm.  In her defense, they had no insurance at the time, and I’m sure she saved herself at least 800 in stitches at the ER.

…………………………………….


Yes.

I know I’m a girl.

And I’m alone at Best Buy.

And I know I’ve been staring at the same display for about 20 minutes.

But no, men-who-work-at-Best-Buy, I do not need your help.

Not now or 2 minutes later.

I’m not actually a damsel in distress.

I just need the person on the other side of the phone to decide if they want to help me pay for what I’m getting.

And then when I hang up the phone, make my decision, I don’t need 20 more people asking if I found everything ok, or if I had any trouble making my “really big decision.”

It just makes me feel like I’m an idiot.

And maybe I am.

But only because I have a fit bit.

Or HAD until I lost it.  And I re-traced ALL my steps looking for it.  (which made me sad, I have no idea just how many steps it was)

I went back to Walgreens, traced my steps, and talked to the store manager.  I went back to Petco and Total Wine and did the same thing.  I went back to my chiropractor’s parking lot (because I had already called and the office manager looked all over for me and it wasn’t there and it was closing so I couldn’t check for myself.)

I even went back to the xray office and checked there.  No sign of my fitbit. 

Online there were tips on how to find my tracker: “Walk around trying to sync your phone with your tracker.  If it syncs, you must be within 20 feet of your missing fitbit!”

Yes. 

Let me travel the world hoping my phone will sync and that I will magically be united with my fitbit.

The good news is, my insurance company gave me the “ok” to get a new one.  And just as I turn it on to set it up, it pops up a screen educating me on “How to Avoid Losing your Fitbit.”

Clearly I’m not the only one who’s had this problem.

However, I seem to be the only female alone at Best Buy…


…………………………………

And now for some fun pictures of stuff we've done lately:



This is on our tour of Deep Ellum Brewing Company.  We got to keep the glasses from our tour.  It was pretty cool.


Ryan's company picnic was at this place, and it was fantastic!


Looking into space!


Running from the dinosaurs (like we were in Jurassic Park)


This is me and Diana.  We picnicked at the Arboretum!



Ryan and I took 1 year photos!


We had so much fun!



Our photo within a photo!