The day I learned my Spanish only works inside my work.

“Ok, so he was 6lbs and 27 oz?  Are you sure you don’t mean 2.7 oz?”

“No, see this paper says 27oz.  And I remember that’s what they told me in the hospital.  He was exactly 27 oz.”

“Really? Because I thought there were only 16 oz in a pound?”

Maybe something got lost in the translation to Spanish.

………………………………..

2013 got off to a great start.

A preposterous start.

Just like the billboard wished me.

See, there’s this billboard on my way to work that sits there wishing everyone a preposterous new year from some bank.

Or maybe the billboard wished me a prosperous new year, not preposterous. It's easy to see how I would be confused.  Clearly I was driving, not looking at billboards.

………………………………

Lately I’ve mostly been seeing only sick kids.  Most of them are really sick.

A lot of high fevers, and a lot of the flu.

Usually high fever is a hallmark sign of the flu.  But this year, in Texas at least, we’ve seen a higher amount of the flu than normal.  And a higher amount of non-flu viruses that give fever.

If you’ve read my blog before, you know I’m super passionate about vaccines.  I’ve read a lot of the medical literature and studies on safety and efficacy.  I’ve read actual studies that are scientifically done.

And I HATE it when people think vaccines are unsafe and/or unnecessary.

But please, don’t take my word for it.  This is just a blog.

Just my opinion.

Please, don’t take ANY blog and think it’s actual fact.  There are A LOT of blogs out there right now saying how harmful vaccines are.  If you want the truth, please don’t find it on a blog.  Please go to a real website and find out the truth.

Two websites I really like are the CDC website and the American Academy of Pediatrics website.

They both break down the fears and facts about vaccines.

CDC (Center for Disease Control)

http://www.cdc.gov/flu/protect/vaccine/general.htm

AAP (American Academy of Pediatrics)

http://www2.aap.org/immunization/illnesses/flu/influenza.html

I HIGHLY recommend the flu vaccine to children and people who have a lot of contact with young children.  I have seen about 100 cases of the flu, and 95% of them have not had a flu shot.

The flu shot only covers 3 strains of flu virus.  Two Influenza A strains and One Influenza B strain. 

Meaning it is still possible to get a strain of the flu that is not covered by the vaccine.  The vaccine changes yearly, depending on which strains are most likely to be covered that year.

Not everyone needs a flu shot, but I encourage you to talk to your doctor about if it’s the right decision to keep you healthy.  The flu rate is high this year.

Whatever you decide, make sure you're washing your hands and staying away from anyone with a high fever and/or cough and cold symptoms.

Take a look at this map from the CDC:

 

http://gis.cdc.gov/grasp/fluview/main.html

And now I’ll jump off my soap box.

…………………………..

Over Christmas we did a Secret Santa at work.  You had to bring a little gift for your secret pal 3 days before our work Christmas party, and then you told them who you were.

My person at work wanted a Holiday Caramel Cappuccino from McDonalds every day.

So I went to McDonalds and ordered a Holiday Caramel Cappuccino.

But the lady behind the counter told me they didn’t have Cappuccinos.

Ever.

Especially not a holiday one.

So I got a Caramel Mocha.

Coming from McDonalds it’s all the same, right?

And I got a breakfast burrito.  They asked me if I wanted hot or mild sauce.  I picked mild.  You never know what someone else’s definition of hot is.

So I opened the bag to try some of this mild sauce on my burrito.

And I saw that to McDonalds, mild sauce = strawberry jam.

Thanks.

That’s what I get for eating at McDonalds.

…………………………..

Its funny, because now, at work I usually choose to speak Spanish over English if the person tells me they don’t care which one.

Maybe because I think they’ll trust me more, maybe because I think the kid will know more Spanish and feel more comfortable. 

Maybe because I tell better jokes in Spanish.

Or at least, I make people laugh at me more in Spanish.

Either way, at work, I feel like I can totally speak another language.  But the second I walk out those doors, I start second guessing my pronunciation.  And I worry someone is going to talk about something other than medicine and parts of the body and then they’ll discover it’s all a guise.

Sometimes at work we go grab lunch at the Fiesta one block from where our building is.  I love the food, but I feel like I don’t really belong there.

I walk into that place, and it seams like the entire store stops to look at the non-Hispanic girl that just walked in. 

'Maybe she's lost,' I can practically hear them thinking. 

All the signs are in Spanish and they’re brightly colored and contrast with my clothing choices.

We go to Fiesta to order food and it’s a bunch of Hispanic food, which is delicious, but I never know to order in English or Spanish.  Because, the signs are in Spanish, but what if I talk in Spanish and then they think I really speak Spanish so they ask me a question that I don’t understand?  So maybe I should speak English.  But is it wrong to assume they speak English?  And on the other hand, is it even wronger to assume they don’t speak English?

Oh man.

I usually just end up pointing at what I want and saying thank you.

Because I’m very fluent at speaking charades.

And everyone knows how to play charades so I don’t have to assume anything.

And they don’t have to laugh at the little white girl who can’t actually speak Spanish.

………………………..

I diagnosed this sweet little 8 year old boy with the flu last Thursday and told him he couldn’t go to school on Friday and that I would write him a prescription for some medications.

At the end of the visit he came up and gave me a huge hug.

And then I told him he was contagious and that he shouldn’t hug ANYONE.

And his mom told him to stop, so he did.  And she looked so sorry and embarrassed that I felt compelled to tell her not to worry, I had gotten my flu shot.

Which her son took to mean he could hug me again.

Not.

So.

Sweet.

For the rest of the week I was worried about starting a fever and coming down with the flu.

It wouldn’t be too terrible to stay home sick, except I’m out of sick days for the year!

………………………..

Half of my co-workers are pregnant right now.

BOTH of my nurses are pregnant and the nurse that sometimes helps me out in the mornings is pregnant too.

I’m one of the only people at work that doesn’t have kids.  Which I suppose makes me an unlikely candidate to be a pediatrician.

One of my nurses is pregnant for the first time and she’s all perky and happy and was never sick or anything.  She’s young and pretty and she’s got this precious baby bump and no fat anywhere else.

I want to be just like her if I get pregnant.

But my other nurse is SO nauseous and she’s sick just about every other week.

I’m afraid I’ll be just like her if I get pregnant.

The other day we were talking about giving birth and I just really don’t want to do that.  I don’t think I’ll mind being pregnant or having kids, but I just don’t want to give birth.

Just hearing their stories was stronger birth control than ANYTHING they currently have on the market right now…

……………………….

And finally, time for a non-work story.

Our precious little Rue is almost 7 months old now and finally has good control of her bowels and bladder so we don’t have to worry about her so much when we take her outside.  She has never pooped in the apartment, and only had a few accidents when she was smaller.

Well, this past week it rained A LOT in Dallas.

And the dogs hate to poo in the rain.

So I was taking both pups out one morning, thankful that the rain had slowed down for a while at least.

Rue must of have been terrified it would still be raining hard because on the elevator she squatted, and before I could stop her she let out a baby turd.

S***, I thought (which was quite appropriately used, as that’s what she literally just dropped on the floor.)

I hurried to pick it up in a baggy before we got outside, thankful we were the only people on the elevator at the time. 

We got out to the park next door and she wouldn’t poo.  It was only raining a little bit.  Poor girl.  I was afraid we’d have another accident if she didn’t go again. 

So I waited in the rain.

Not to worry, she found a piece of concrete to poo on that sheltered her from most of the rain.

Good thing too, cause she had a lot more left to poo.

…………………………

And now, pictures from life :)

Cooking Peanut brittle.  With Almonds instead of peanuts.

Ryan taught me how.

The cooked brittle before I broke it.

Scrubby Chillin on our way to Atlanta.

Rue was chillin too.

And eating a Christmas elf toy.

I made homemade cinnamon buns with Ryan's mom!

The family Skyped on Christmas Day.

We saw lots of friends!

The omni and reunion tower helped us count down to the new year!

Yay 2013!!

Then they helped us cheer on Texas A&M at the cotton bowl!!

I saw my good friend Jenni get married!!

Yay Jenni!!

We bought a washer and dryer set like big kids!!

We also bought the dogs jackets because it got COLD outside finally!!

Happy New Year 2013.

Hope it's preposterous.

The day I could cook but not clean.

Merry Christmas Season!

.........................

Cutest. Boy. Ever.

He was that age that was where boys turn from cute little angels to pre-teens who grunt a lot and are too cool to talk to adults.

He was in for a wart treatment and was acting TOO cool to be afraid of the knife and freezing treatments.

He had on one of those silicone bracelets.  Those are really the IN thing right now.  I tell you, kids have those bracelets now for Drug Free week.  WAY cooler than Red Ribbon Week. 

Anyway, it had the letters YOLO on it.

To make conversation while I treated his wart, I asked him about the bracelet.

What does it mean?

YOLO: You Only Live Once.

(Which I suppose now is in the news made famous or something, but I’m not hip enough to know that)

“Oh”, I told the kid, “that’s neat.”

Well, I finished up the treatment, and told his mom exact instructions on how to care for the wart and when to come back.

The sweet boy slipped the bracelet off his arm and held it out to me,

“Here,” he said, “you can have it.”

Awwww.

Too sweet!

I told him to keep his bracelet.

And that I thought he was the COOLEST kid ever!

……………………….

“My daughter won’t eat”

For how long?

“The past 6 months”

Really?  She’s been gaining weight for the past 6 months, in fact, she weighs A LOT more than she should now.  Has she been eating or drinking anything at all?

“Well, she’s been eating, but only cookies and chips and soda and candy.  I can’t get her to eat anything healthy at all”

Do you give her the option of what to eat?

“yes”

Clearly, there isn’t a problem with you child not eating, but there is a problem with YOU not feeding her properly…

……………………..

“Do you live with your mom?”

No

“Then who cleans your house?”

I do.

“But you work.  You can’t do both.  You need someone to clean for you if you don’t live with your mom.”

Thanks, but I live in a small apartment.  I don’t need anyone to help me right now.

At least, not in my opinion!

…………………………

It’s a shame.

I hear the FUNIEST names at work, but because of HIPAA (the Health Insurance Portability and Accountability Act) I can’t really give you names.

Unless I change them and I don’t give you any other protected health information.

Because I see some of the best names.

I think I blogged about SirCharles a few months ago.

I see lots of kids named Juan.  Just Juan sometimes, other times Juan and another name together like Juan Carlos or something.

Well, now I’ve met a Juana.

A Mary Juana to be exact.

I’ll pause to let that one sink in.

.

.

.

And I’ve met twins with the same first name.

Kevin Sergio

And

Kevin Iglesias.

Really?  You couldn’t come up with two unique names for your twins?

You had to name them the SAME first name?

Kevin?

Ok, and this last name I can’t tell you.

But I can get you to picture Mario kart.

Yoshi.  Luigi.  Wario.

That character that goes

“Itza M_-_-_-_”

Its all I could do to not exclaim his name during the exam.

“Itza M_-_-_-_”

…………………..

We all ate together for thanksgiving.

All the office.

There are 6 PAs, who 2 doctors are in charge of.

Then each of us has 2 medical assistants, about 12.

Then 5 people to bill and code.

[About half of the girls at the office}

(side fact, there are 1800 codes in the ICD 9, what we use now to bill for an upper respiratory infection or a wart.  But by 2014, we have to use the ICD 10, which has over 40,000 new codes, including a code for running into a pole.  For the second time.  Really?!?  This is why our doctor pays 5 people to bill and code for us.)

Then 8 people to answer phones and sign people in.

Then a few miscellaneous people to clean the clinic and send referrals to the specialists.

In all, we have about 40 people in our office.

And they asked me to make mashed potatoes for all of them.

MASHED POTATOES.

FOR EVERYONE!

Oh man.

Cold mashed potatoes are the WORST.

What can I do?!

Well, Ana, my brilliant co-worker gave me the idea to make them in a crock pot so they could warm all morning.

Perfect.

Now, how many potatoes do I need to mash to feed 40 people?!

I got 10 lbs of potatoes.  Surely that will be enough for the whole office. (because we’ll be having a bunch of other sides like corn and lentil casserole.  Because who doesn’t eat lentil casserole on Thanksgiving?!)

Do you know how long it takes to peel 10 lbs of potatoes?

Even with your husband helping you?!

I found the first crock pot mashed potato recipe that came up on google, and I cross referenced it with the Pioneer Woman mashed potato recipe (because that woman is a genious!) and they looked pretty similar so I went with it.

Cream Cheese, sour cream, butter, and chicken bullion cubes.

Brilliant.

It was delicious.  (or so I thought)

I made it the night before, then got to work at 7 am and plugged in my crock pot.

I stirred the potatoes about once an hour between patients.  (Don’t worry, I washed my hands really good before touching the food).

Then, 300 patients and 1 fire drill later, we sat down to eat at 2 pm.

My potatoes had nicely warmed by then.

Everyone loaded their plates with food.  And when I say loaded, I mean there was not a single plate that wasn’t piled high with food.  Because who could miss out on trying someone’s macaroni salad, egg salad, or flan.

Because all those things come to mind when I think of thanksgiving… especially the flan.  I think maybe the pilgrims ate flan at the first thanksgiving.

Everyone thought my potatoes were delicious.

Where did you buy them, they all wanted to know.

I made them, with the help of my husband.

YOU COOK?!

Yeah, we cook.  Mostly my husband cooks, he’s really good at it and I’m ok at it.

I’m glad they were surprised to see I can cook.

Because clearly, it’s a valued talent in the community I work in.

………………………

Mostly I write stories about work.

But sometimes I have funny stories about other stuff.

Like the silly boy pharmacist at Walgreens.  I went to pick up my medicine, and I told him that it was probably in the refrigerator.

He couldn’t find my medicine in the front, so he proceeded to the back, which is where they keep the fridge, so I assumed he was getting it.  He came back to the front and asked me if I went by a different name.  I thought, maybe I gave them my wrong name when calling, so I gave him my other last name (unmarried name).  He looked again.

After looking for 5 more minutes, I suggested he try the fridge again.

He said, “Oh, is that where you told me to look 5 minutes ago, I didn’t hear you very well.  I’m really new at this.”

And then found my medication instantly.

IF ONLY MORE PEOPLE LISTENED TO ME!!

……………………….

So If you asked me 2 months ago, I would have told you I LOVED living downtown.  It has its perks and drawbacks just like anywhere else, but its mostly great.

Last Saturday they had an awesome parade downtown.

It benefitted Children’s Medical Center, something I’m supper passionate about since we end up referring most of our kids there when they need to see a specialist.

They had cool floats and dancers, it felt just like I was downtown New York on Thanksgiving day!

So parades are great.

Even grater was taking out our dogs at 9 am, when the parade didn't start for another hour, dressed up like elves, complete with jingle bells.  LOTS of kids loved us!

Some of them had been lined up on the streets since 5am just to get a good spot for the parade!  It was chaos getting our dogs to potty.

We were told we wouldn’t be able to leave since the parade blocked off ALL the roads downtown from 6am to 2 pm, but I didn’t think it was a big deal.

Until I woke up with the WORST sore throat ever.

And then I remembered the bratty boy that spit in my face 4 days before, that ended up having strep throat.  It wasn’t really his fault he spit in my face, I stuck a stick down his throat, so I kinda deserved it.

And then I also remembered that my co-worker that I share a computer with had checked herself Friday and ALSO had strep throat.

So I figured I might have it too.  Bummer.  But since there was no way I could get to an urgent care clinic (and because I actually work and have insurance, I have a huge deductible for urgent care) I just took some pain medicine and went back to bed.

There were SO MANY people outside it looked like our building was under attack by zombies.  

At least that’s what Ryan told me.

I felt much better after taking ibuprofen, so I got up and had a free mimosa (just another perk of living downtown.) and I felt even better.

The next morning I still had a sore throat, like glass in my throat, so I skipped church and took more ibuprofen, and then I felt much better when I woke up and so I went to teach Sunday School.

And then Monday I still had a sore throat, so I tested myself at work.

Turns out it was strep throat.

So they gave me antibiotics and sent me home.

Sweet!

Kinda.

…………………..

So my 2nd room is all pretty, like seaworld with dolphins and fish.

All the kids love it.

Except this one kid.

I walked in, and mom had moved ALL the chairs to the other side of the room, and her daughter had her face buried in mom’s arms.  I thought maybe it was because she was scared of the doctor.

But no, she was scared of my fish mural.

Of a picture on the wall.

Poor girl!

..................................

Our little Smothers Family photo!

……………………..

Another Wedding!  All the way in Longview!

I promise the Christmas Lights downtown looked WAY cooler in person!

Shannon and Scrubs

Ryan and Rue.